What mistakes do new wedding officiants make?
Newbie mistakes
The most common newbie officiant mistakes are running late, forgetting to ask guests to rise and be seated, letting the microphone drift away from your mouth, and writing the wrong information on the marriage license. Every one of them is avoidable, and when you’re on the mic in front of a crowd, avoiding them keeps you comfortable and keeps the couple looking good.
The six newbie mistakes to avoid
- Running late
Check traffic conditions before leaving your home for the wedding. Running late is stress no one needs, and it’s the easiest mistake on this list to avoid.
- Forgetting “Please rise” at the processional
Start every ceremony by asking the guests to “Please rise” when you see the bride about to walk in. The bride is not a possession or gift, so I usually take a few steps forward with the groom to meet the bride and her dad, then ask, “Who has the honor of escorting Bride down the aisle and presenting her to the Groom?” Make sure the groom knows to acknowledge her dad with a handshake or hug, however they’re most comfortable. In the moment, brides often forget to kiss dad, so make sure she does before he sits and she hands her bouquet off to the maid of honor.
- Forgetting “Please be seated”
Then instruct the guests to sit back down by saying “Please be seated.” Wait until the maid of honor has finished straightening out the bride’s dress before beginning the welcoming of the guests.
- Letting the microphone drift
Avoid the “We can’t hear!” mistake and hold the microphone near your mouth. I can’t emphasize this enough. It’s common for people to gradually lower the mic as they speak, and when that happens nobody past the second row hears a word.
- Forgetting “Please rise” before the pronouncement
Ask the guests to “Please rise” before pronouncing the couple as husband and wife, or husbands, or wives. Then allow the bridal party, the bride’s parents, and the groom’s parents to exit before you. If grandparents or others in the front row walk out ahead of you, it’s not a big deal. They’re all important people.
- Writing the wrong information on the marriage license
Pay attention and read the license thoroughly before your pen touches the paper. The document is special to your couple and a pain in the butt to replace. I’ve accidentally written the wrong date, the wrong city, and the right info in the wrong spot, and I’ve seen the disappointed looks. End on a high note, not a buzz kill.
What I say on the way out
As I’m walking out I usually say to the crowd, “We’re going to sign their marriage license and then Bride and Groom will be snapping photos, but we invite everyone to start the party during cocktail hour and they can’t wait to join you soon. Have a great night!”
That little announcement answers the question every guest is silently asking (where do I go now?) and buys the couple time for photos without anyone wondering where they went.
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Ready to officiate? Here’s what you need next.
Getting ordained takes five minutes. The part most new officiants underestimate is having ceremony material that actually sounds good and knowing how to deliver it with confidence.
What happens when you and your couple disagree about parts of the ceremony? Read how I handle disagreements with couples. And if you’re not ordained yet, start with how to get ordained to perform weddings.
A few common questions
What’s the most common mistake new wedding officiants make?
Forgetting the crowd cues. New officiants get so focused on their script that they skip “Please rise” at the processional, “Please be seated” after it, and “Please rise” again before the pronouncement.
When do you say please rise and please be seated?
Ask guests to rise right as the final processional entrance begins, seat them once the couple is in place and settled, and ask them to rise again just before the pronouncement and kiss.
What order does everyone walk out in?
The couple leads, then the wedding party, then each set of parents, then the officiant. If grandparents or front row guests slip out ahead of you, let it go. They’re all important people.
How do you avoid microphone problems?
Sound check with the DJ before guests arrive and keep the mic close to your mouth the whole time. Speakers naturally let the mic drift down as they relax, and the back rows lose you the moment it happens.
What should you check before signing the marriage license?
Read the entire license before your pen touches the paper. Confirm the date, the city, and exactly which lines are yours. A license with the wrong info is a headache to replace and a sour note to end on.
Is it normal to be nervous officiating your first wedding?
Completely. The cure is preparation. Rehearse until you can look up from the page, practice with the material out loud, and let the checklist above handle the logistics so you can focus on the couple.
