How to run a wedding rehearsal

Wedding rehearsal guide

Most wedding rehearsals are run by the officiant and the coordinator together. The coordinator lines everyone up and practices the walking, and the officiant walks the couple through the key moments of the ceremony. If there’s no coordinator, you’ll run the whole thing yourself.

How to run a wedding rehearsal in 10 steps

• Review your notes before you arrive

  Reread everything from your meeting with the couple. Know about any deceased parents, divorced parents, and strained relationships. Every now and then someone at a rehearsal is rude, and it helps to know it’s because that person is stressed about a strained relationship. It’s got nothing to do with you.

• Bring a printed ceremony and write down names

  On the last page, write the parents’ names (last names sometimes differ), any children’s names, and the coordinator, photographer, and DJ names. Coordinators often email a vendor timeline with all of this on it. It always impresses people when you walk up to introduce yourself and already know their name.

• Introduce yourself to everyone

  Members of the wedding party are prospective clients, parents sometimes give gratuity, and fellow vendors give referrals. You’ll also need to know who’s holding the rings so you can invite them up during the ceremony.

• Let the coordinator set the flow

  Ask the coordinator how they like to run the rehearsal. Normally they’ll line everyone up in their ceremony spots, practice walking out, then walking back in, then you’ll run through the bullet points of the ceremony, and everyone practices walking out one more time.

• Walk the couple through the key moments

  This is your part. The next section covers exactly what to practice with your couple while everyone’s standing in place.

• Have fun with the pronouncement

  When you practice the pronouncement, actually yell out “Kiss the bride!” The wedding party usually cheers, and then you’ll all practice walking out on a high note.

• Plant the license seed

  Ask the coordinator where you’ll all recess to sign the marriage license. That politely plants the seed that signing comes before anything else after the ceremony. Photographers sometimes grab the couple and disappear for photos, and I’ve been stuck waiting over an hour. This one question prevents that.

• Swap contact info with the vendors

  Ask the other vendors for business cards in case you need to reach them on the wedding day. If you don’t have a card to give back, let them know you’ll email your contact info that night, and at least write their names down.

• Say goodbye to your couple

  Before you leave the venue, find your couple, tell everyone it was great meeting them, and say you’re looking forward to the ceremony.

• Send them off smiling

  I usually joke with the wedding party to have fun at the rehearsal dinner but to behave themselves, because we need everyone at their best tomorrow.

What to practice with your couple

While everyone’s lined up, walk your couple through these moments so nothing surprises them on the wedding day.

• Hold hands and face each other

  It sounds obvious, but couples default to standing side by side facing you. Facing each other looks better in every photo.

• Look at each other, not at you

  Tell them they shouldn’t feel obligated to stare at you. It’s actually a little weird if they do. During vows and rings, they should be looking at each other.

• No side conversations

  Ask them kindly to save the whispering for the reception. It happens, and it’s hard to do your best work while being ignored.

• Explain how you’ll move

  You’ll open by speaking to the guests and thanking them for coming, and you might move around a little to find friendly faces. Tell the couple to hold their spots and not shuffle out of your way. Then you’ll turn and speak to them directly.

• Practice the imagery moment

  If they’ve chosen a unity ceremony, practice walking to the table. One partner can lead so nobody steps on a dress, or they can each walk their own side and meet behind it. The couple stands behind the table facing their guests, and any parents or kids stand beside them, also facing the guests.

• Place your guest readers

  If readers attend the rehearsal, show them where to stand. I usually have them take my spot between the couple so they can easily hug them after reading. If there’s a standing mic off to the side, that works too.

• Practice the ring exchange

  If one attendant is holding both rings, have them step into your spot between the couple. It makes a great photo of the three of them from the aisle.

What if there’s no coordinator?

Then you run the rehearsal yourself, and it’s easier than it sounds. Line everyone up at the front first, in their ceremony spots. Practice the processional so everyone knows the entrance order and where to stop. Run through the ceremony bullet points using the steps above. Then practice the recessional. Going through it twice is plenty, and the whole thing should take 30 to 45 minutes.

The most common questions you’ll get are where people stand, when they walk, and what they do with their hands. If you can answer those three calmly, everyone will relax and trust you.

If the families don’t get along, read how to deal with uncomfortable family dynamics next. And if you’re brand new to all of this, start with how to officiate a wedding.

A few common questions