Babies cry. Airplanes fly overhead. Motorcycles roar past.
The distraction usually isn’t what makes a wedding ceremony awkward. It’s how you react to it.
You can rehearse a wedding ceremony until you know exactly where every pause belongs, and then a kid starts yelling during a reading. Or a plane flies directly over the ceremony. Or somebody’s phone starts playing a ringtone nobody has heard since 2009.
I’ve dealt with all of it.
The trick isn’t pretending the distraction isn’t happening. Sometimes you keep going. Sometimes you pause. Sometimes you acknowledge it. Your job is to make that decision without looking rattled, because the couple is taking their cue from you.
Preparation gives you room to improvise
I rehearse every ceremony out loud. A lot. When I was officiating personalized ceremonies regularly, I’d often read one 10 or 15 times before the wedding and mark up the pages with different colored pens so I could find my place instantly.
That preparation matters when something unexpected happens. If you’re barely hanging onto the words, an interruption can knock you completely off track. If you know the ceremony, you can look up, deal with what’s happening, find your place and keep going.
That’s the real reason I tell new officiants to practice. It isn’t so you can memorize every word. It’s so you’re not trapped on the page when real life shows up.
How I handle the distractions that happen most often
Give the parents an easy way out
Kids make noise. That’s not exactly breaking news. The problem is usually what happens next: a parent tries desperately to quiet the child while staying in the ceremony, and now everybody is listening to both of them.
When it makes sense, I’ll talk to guests with young kids beforehand and make it clear that nobody is going to be offended if they need to step away.
I might say, “I love kids. I have two little ones and I understand they’re sometimes noisy at exactly the wrong time. If your child loses it during the ceremony, please Secret Service him out instead of trying to quiet him down and accidentally creating an even bigger distraction. The couple only gets one shot at this and we all want it to be great for them.”
Keep it friendly. You’re giving the parent permission, not scolding them before their kid has even done anything.
Let the couple decide if the noise is going to hang around
Phoenix has an airport right in the middle of the city, so I’ve had plenty of airplanes fly over outdoor ceremonies. I don’t warn the couple beforehand and give them one more thing to worry about. I wait to see if it actually happens.
If a plane gets loud enough that I’m competing with it, I’ll lower the microphone and ask:
“Do you guys want me to wait for the plane to pass or power through the noise?”
Most couples tell me to wait. Some want me to keep going. Either way, they appreciate being given the choice.
Just stop talking for a few seconds
This happens a lot at venues near busy roads. A motorcycle goes by and suddenly nobody can hear anything.
I don’t ask the couple what they want every time a loud car passes. It’s usually over in a few seconds. I stop, smile, wait, and then continue.
A five second pause feels much longer to you than it does to everybody else.
The mistake is trying to beat the motorcycle by getting louder and reading faster. You’re not going to win.
Prevent the easy ones
Before the ceremony, I ask the wedding party to check that their ringers are off. I’ve only had a groomsman’s phone ring once because this is one of those problems that’s pretty easy to prevent.
Guest phones are different. I don’t automatically tell everyone to put their phones away. That’s the couple’s decision.
If they want an unplugged ceremony, I’ll make a short announcement before we begin.
“Bride and Groom are having what’s known as an unplugged ceremony, meaning they’d like you to please keep your phones away and sit back and fully relax. Be present and enjoy their ceremony. They’ve hired a great photographer who’s going to make photos available, so you won’t miss anything.”
Then move on. It doesn’t need to become a speech about phones.
Your reaction becomes the couple’s reaction
This is probably the most important part.
If a baby cries and you look annoyed, the couple notices. If a motorcycle goes by and you look panicked, now they’re wondering whether something is wrong. If you stop for a second, smile and act like it’s completely normal, everybody relaxes.
You don’t need a clever joke for every interruption. In fact, most of the time I wouldn’t make one. The ceremony isn’t about showing everyone how quick you are.
Stay calm. Make a decision. Keep moving.
What if something bigger happens?
A crying baby and an airplane are distractions. Someone fainting, getting sick or having a real medical problem is different. At that point, forget the ceremony and take care of the person.
I’ve had a groomsman faint three times during a ceremony and I’ve had a bride throw up from nerves. Those situations need a different response, so I wrote a separate guide about what to do when someone faints or gets sick during a wedding.
The goal isn’t a perfect ceremony
Something can go wrong and the ceremony can still be great.
Outdoor weddings have airplanes. Kids yell. Phones ring. Wind blows your pages around. Real ceremonies aren’t performed in a studio.
Your job is to be prepared enough that when something happens, the couple doesn’t have to deal with it. You handle it, get everybody comfortable again and give the attention right back to them.
That’s what looking experienced actually looks like.
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Wedding ceremony distraction questions
What should an officiant do if a baby starts crying during the ceremony?
If it’s brief, keep going. If the crying becomes the focus of the room, pause and give the parent time to step away. Don’t look annoyed or turn the situation into a bigger event.
Should an officiant stop for an airplane or loud traffic?
For a short burst of road noise, I usually pause and wait. If an airplane is going to be loud for longer, I’ll quickly ask the couple whether they’d rather pause or keep going.
Should I announce an unplugged wedding ceremony?
Only if that’s what the couple wants. I don’t automatically tell guests to put their phones away. If the couple requests an unplugged ceremony, make the announcement short and friendly before the ceremony begins.
How do I keep from losing my place after an interruption?
Practice the ceremony out loud beforehand and mark your script so it’s easy to find your place. The better you know the material, the easier it is to look up, handle the interruption and come back to the page.
What if someone faints or gets sick during the ceremony?
That’s no longer just a distraction. Stop the ceremony and make sure the person is taken care of. The ceremony can wait.
