How to Get Ordained to Perform Weddings

If a friend or family member just asked you to officiate their wedding, the ordination part is usually the least intimidating piece once you know where to start.

Online ministries such as American Marriage Ministries and Universal Life Church offer online ordination. The application itself can be extremely quick. But ordination and permission to solemnize a marriage are not always the same thing.

The law that matters is the law where the wedding takes place. Depending on the jurisdiction, an ordained officiant may also need to register, provide credentials or complete another step before performing the ceremony.

The ordination

How do you get ordained to perform a wedding?

Choose an ordaining organization, complete its application, save the confirmation and credentials it provides, and then check the rules for the wedding location.

That’s the process in plain English.

American Marriage Ministries currently offers free online ordination and says its application takes less than a minute. It also maintains information for each state because some jurisdictions require additional officiant registration after ordination.

Universal Life Church is another well known online ordination option. I don’t need you to pick the organization I picked or the one another officiant swears by. I need you to make sure the organization and your credentials satisfy the rules where you’re actually performing the marriage.

Who can do it

Do you have to be religious to get ordained?

Not necessarily. Online ordination is commonly used by friends and family members who were asked to officiate a wedding and aren’t planning to become a pastor, priest or professional minister.

That’s also why this path makes sense for a lot of the couples I work with. Many aren’t churchgoers and don’t want a religious ceremony, but they do want somebody they know standing up there with them. Other couples are religious and still choose a friend or relative. The ceremony itself can be religious, nonreligious or somewhere in between depending on the couple and the officiant.

The legal check

Is online ordination enough to legally officiate the wedding?

This is where I want first time officiants to slow down. The fact that an organization ordained you does not mean you should assume there is nothing else to do. Some jurisdictions require officiant registration or documents before the ceremony. Marriage license procedures also vary.

Check the wedding location, not your home address. If you live in Arizona and the wedding is in another state, the other state’s rules are the ones that matter for that ceremony.

I’ve separated the broader legal question into Who Can Officiate a Wedding? because that’s where we deal with friends, family members, ordination, registration and the marriage license in more detail.

Before you spend money

Do you need to buy an ordination package or credentials?

First find out what the government office handling the marriage actually requires from you. If it requires an ordination certificate, letter of good standing or another credential, get the document you need. If it doesn’t, you may not need to buy anything.

The point isn’t to look ordained. The point is to satisfy the legal requirements.

What happens after you get ordained?

This is the part I care about more, because it’s where the actual wedding begins.

The permission slip is the easy part.

I got into officiating because my best friend asked me to perform his wedding. Getting permission to do it was one problem. Standing in front of their families and friends and doing it well was an entirely different one.

That’s where the actual work starts.

After more than 1,000 weddings, I can tell you that first time officiants usually spend too much time worrying about the ordination and not enough time thinking about what happens once everybody is staring at them.

You need to talk with the couple about what they want the ceremony to feel like. You need to write or assemble the ceremony. You need to practice it out loud. You need to understand where everybody stands, what happens with the rings and vows, how the rehearsal works, how you’ll use the microphone, and what happens with the marriage license after the ceremony.

Timing

How far ahead of the wedding should you get ordained?

The online application may be nearly instant. The rest of the process may not be.

Give yourself time to verify local requirements, order any credentials that are actually required, complete registration if necessary and fix a problem if something doesn’t match. There is no prize for discovering three days before the wedding that a clerk wants paperwork you don’t have.

Then use the time you saved by not procrastinating to work on the ceremony.

Don’t confuse getting ordained with being ready

Being ordained gives you a credential. It doesn’t teach you how to calm down a nervous couple, run a rehearsal, recover when somebody misses a cue, use a microphone, write something that sounds natural out loud or notice that a groomsman is starting to wobble.

Getting ordained is the permission slip. The ceremony is the job.

Those are different skills.

The good news is that you don’t need 1,000 weddings to do a great job at your first one. You need to prepare for the wedding you’re actually doing.

What should you work on next?