You’re not the only person working the wedding.
The photographer, DJ and coordinator can make your job much easier. The fastest way to get that help is to make their jobs easier too.
When you’re officiating for a friend or family member, it’s easy to focus completely on the couple and your ceremony. That’s understandable. It’s also easy to accidentally make life harder for the people trying to photograph, coordinate and run the same wedding.
You don’t need to know the wedding business. You just need to introduce yourself, ask a few questions and remember that everybody there is trying to give the couple a great day.
I’ve worked with hundreds of photographers, DJs, coordinators and venue teams. The easiest weddings are the ones where we all help each other.
Before the wedding, learn a few names
If the couple or coordinator sends you a timeline, look at the vendor list before you arrive. I write down the names of the people I’m likely to work with.
Then instead of walking up and saying, “Are you the photographer?” I can say, “Hi Jane, I’m Matt. I’m officiating today.”
It’s a tiny thing. People like hearing their name, and it immediately feels like you’re there to work with them instead of around them.
You don’t need to memorize everybody at the wedding. The coordinator, photographer and DJ are the three people I’d start with.
Ask one question that solves a lot of problems
Once I introduce myself, I ask some version of this.
“Is there anything you need from me or anything I can do to make your job easier?”
That’s it.
Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes the photographer wants me to move a little farther to one side. The DJ may want me to wait for a cue. The coordinator may tell me something changed since the rehearsal.
Five seconds of conversation can prevent a stupid problem in the middle of the ceremony.
How to work with the wedding coordinator
Make yourself useful, not needy
The coordinator is usually juggling 30 things while you’re thinking about one: the ceremony.
Introduce yourself when you arrive. Confirm the ceremony start time, where they want you before the processional and whether anything changed. Then ask if you can help.
I don’t mean follow them around asking for jobs. If they’re moving chairs, carrying something or trying to find a member of the wedding party and you can easily help, help.
Being low maintenance is one of the nicest things you can do for a wedding coordinator.
How to work with the wedding photographer
Talk about the kiss before the kiss
Photographers care a lot about where you stand because you’re in the background of some of the most important pictures of the day.
I usually smile and tell the photographer that when the couple kisses, I won’t be creepy and photobomb the picture. Then I ask where they’d like me to move.
It gets a laugh, but more importantly, now we both know the plan.
When the moment comes, pronounce the couple married and move. Don’t wait until they’re already kissing to realize your head is directly between theirs.
How to work with the wedding DJ
Do the sound check and settle the ending
Find the DJ before the ceremony and test the microphone. Talk at the volume you’ll actually use during the wedding, not in a quiet little voice because the guests haven’t arrived yet.
If you’re using a handheld mic, find out how close they want it to your mouth. If you’re wearing a lapel mic, ask whether there’s anything you need to know before you start.
I also ask who is going to direct guests to cocktail hour after the recessional. Sometimes the DJ wants to make that announcement. Sometimes I do it. Either way is fine. What isn’t fine is both of us doing it or neither of us doing it because we assumed the other person had it.
Don’t forget the venue staff
The venue team may not have much to do with your ceremony, but they know the property better than you do.
If you need to know where to park, where to wait, where the couple will sign the marriage license or which door you’re supposed to come through, ask them. Don’t wander around opening doors five minutes before the processional.
And be nice. That sounds ridiculous to have to say, but weddings are stressful and some people start treating the staff like they’re part of the furniture. They’re not.
Things that make every vendor’s job easier
Arrive early
If you’re late, the coordinator has to find you, the DJ can’t sound check you and the photographer is wondering whether the ceremony is starting on time.
Know the ceremony
Practice enough that you’re not asking basic questions while the wedding party is lining up. Preparation makes you easier to work with.
Don’t create another boss
You were trusted with the ceremony, but that doesn’t make you the person running the entire wedding. If there’s a coordinator, let them coordinate. If the photographer asks for 15 seconds to get everybody positioned, give them 15 seconds.
Say thank you
When somebody helps you, thank them. When the ceremony goes well, tell the team it was nice working with them. This isn’t complicated.
You’re all working for the same two people
The photographer wants great pictures. The DJ wants clean audio. The coordinator wants the timeline to work. You want to give the couple a great ceremony.
Those aren’t competing goals.
If you’re officiating your first wedding, don’t worry about convincing the professionals that you belong there. Be prepared, introduce yourself, ask what they need and stay out of their way when they’re doing their jobs.
They’ll figure out pretty quickly that you’re easy to work with.
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What to read next
Want to walk into the wedding knowing what you’re doing?
My officiant training covers preparation, delivery and the wedding day details that are hard to learn from a ceremony script alone.
Working with wedding vendors
Which wedding vendors should the officiant talk to before the ceremony?
Start with the coordinator, photographer and DJ. Confirm the ceremony plan with the coordinator, discuss positioning with the photographer and do a microphone check with the DJ.
What should I ask the wedding photographer?
Ask whether they have any positioning requests and where they’d like you to move before the couple kisses. That helps them get a clean photo without you in the background.
What should I ask the wedding DJ?
Do a sound check, confirm how to use the microphone and decide who will make any guest announcement after the recessional.
Who is in charge of the wedding ceremony, the officiant or coordinator?
The officiant leads the ceremony itself, while the coordinator usually manages the larger wedding timeline, processional logistics and vendor coordination. Work together instead of stepping on each other’s jobs.
How early should a wedding officiant arrive?
Arrive early enough to find the coordinator, meet the photographer and DJ, do a sound check, confirm any last minute changes and get settled before guests are seated.
